This one I can definitely blame on my family.

I really need to drop this before I say something and ruin a friendship I’d like to keep (or take things to a point that I can’t rebuild if necessary). The only thing I’m going to say now is that I at least follow through on my word.

There are times where I really don’t like myself for the core components that make me who I am, which ironically are the same things that make me like myself most of the time. My gaming guild is an honor guild… meaning we have some kids that aren’t very good at the games we play but they all are supposed to have good attitudes and are supposed to respect the things AOD stands for.  One of my corporals caught a private in my division using hacks (for computer illiterates its like steroids for your game play). The game demos that were sent to me more than confirmed the use and since I’m the server administrator I was left with the duty of removing him from the clan. Normally this isn’t a terribly uncomfortable thing for me to do because the other person will scream and yell and bitch to no avail. But this kid was just young and did something stupid to play better to try and get more respect from the division. He knew what he did was really wrong and he even knew the consequences of his actions. As a clan SGT I had no recourse but to kick him once I confirmed things from the demos, not to mention my own sense of honor and respect compelled me to do the same… but I still feel really crappy about it given his attitude. I did what I could to lessen the blow considering he was 13 and this was his first clan, but I still think he was pretty crushed.

So much to say… so many inhibitions.