I recently had the floor fall out from under me (metaphorically) as some things that I believe and others that I want to believe were challenged almost violently (not in the physical sense). The events in question felt almost as if my spirituality itself was being accosted. It wouldn’t have been the first time, but it made me think much deeper than I had before because of some of my own feelings involved. This reflection and introspection brought up the many questions that I have, questions that stop me from being the perfect Christian.
Here is a thought, more for the atheists and non-Christians: would you believe in Jesus Christ if He presented Himself to you and told you His truth? I think that deserves another question: how would Jesus need to present Himself to be convincing?
God made me to be a logical being. Of course I’m emotional and sometimes excessively irrational, however, most of the time I think in very cold logic, which does (conveniently) remove emotion from thought processes. It may come as no surprise then that I had no solid spiritual beliefs until, I believe, God presented Himself to me. Before this very odd experience, I found it impossible to believe in something I couldn’t prove to myself to exist. I couldn’t throw my faith blindly at something even with so many people telling me that I was only damning my own soul to an eternity of pain (by the way… threatening someone with eternal damnation is NOT a good recruiting method). I couldn’t, and can’t, just jump off a cliff and hope God would catch me. This, perhaps defiant, quality of my personality presents many other questions of faith for me… most still unresolved.
Read on if you wish to be tortured by my thought process.
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