“At the very least, I can make you very uncomfortable.”

And I shall return in kind… Gross sexual innuendo for everyone…? Or not.

I have apparently failed to realize the power of the gossip network in the male community… actually I failed to understand that one even existed. Yesterday on my way home from class, I was stopped by one of my old roomates from freshmen year. We had a “quaint” conversation about our respective lives and traded puns, then we got to our classes. He ended up getting out of me (not like it was akin to pulling teeth) that I had 2 classes with one of our previous suite mates whom I was thoroughly convinced was avoiding me at all cost (although I wasn’t really sure why).

Today, that person decided he wanted to talk to me. Nothing ground breaking or devastating, just your “elevator” chat that you would expect from someone who doesn’t want you to think they don’t like you… Of course I have a habbit of over analyzing… but common! What guy actually spreads gossip?

Last night was very fun. Keith and I went wall climbing at the ARC, had dinner at Mirror Lake and watch Final Fantasy. I wasn’t really into the story line, but the CG was phenomenal. Closest animation to real life I have ever seen.

I wanted to do homework tonight, but other things happened. Meh. Guess I’ll have to do it Sunday instead since I have to work tomorrow.

“Breathe deep… you’ll need it.”

I had the most amazing weekend… and probably the best Easter I’ve had in a very long time. The Gannon’s really are my second family.

I’m praying for a friend of mine… I’d like those of you who pray to aswell. She sent me a message that we very disturbing yesterday and I haven’t been able to get in touch with her.

And now for my wisdom to be spoken around the world… “You just don’t get it do you?” Mull that over for a while. Someone might figure it out… maybe it will even the right person… doubtful.

13-Apr-2006

So… apparently I flirt even when I don’t want to. Not interested in dating atm so I’m avoiding generating interest, and yet I have 2 women who are (as far as I can tell) definitely interested and maybe one more (the 3rd I can avoid… she’s just in my econ class, of the other 2, 1 I’m guaranteed to see and the other has my cell phone number). I guess I could just go out with them and have a good time. I think I’d still like to “avoid” getting involved with anyone though. The problem with avoiding stuff… “shit happens”.

I need to get a new car… long story but my Mom’s Aviator ended half way up my front end.

“One must chose in life between boredom and suffering”

But what happens if they occur concurrently?

Not so fun weekend. I went home again… my mom insisted that I be there to wire her new house for surround sound. No more than an hour after I’m there and Guy backs over the left from end of my car with the Aviator. Perhaps I shouldn’t have screamed “CAR!” a few seconds before he hit… the damage would have been much more fun to look at. As it stands… I have a nice couple of dents to my left front quarter panel and bumper… the cost to get it fixed will probably be more than the car is worth so I think I’ll just let it go and put the repair costs towards a new car. The damage to the aviator is going to fun to fix too. The whole rear bumper has to be replaced (backup sensors and all)… to the tune of 3k.

The rest of the weekend was excruciatingly boring. I speced out the wiring for the sound system in about 30 minutes, went to my dad’s for an hour, then worked on homework ’till midnight. Woke up at 9, shower, etc, left the house at 11 to wire the sound system. Guy took his good olde time reworking my plans that we ended up using anyway. Finished at 4 after watching him fumble around for several hours, ate diner and now I’m home. I suppose there was some fun in all this in so far as I got to put together my new computer… although I can’t use it since I don’t have the graphics card yet.

I’ve intentionally left a few “interesting” things out… but I do have one question. Do women learn from birth how to be intentionally vague, awkward, and elusive (maybe evasive is a better word here)?

7-Apr-2006

I haven’t been to church in 3 weeks and I feel it like a huge weight on my shoulders.

My ADHD has been in full swing for the last week. If I force myself to sit still somewhere I get really bored and tired. If I go do something I have more energy than I know what to do with. I can’t concentrate or do anything for a long period of time… I haven’t been like this in years (or at least not this bad).

I think I know why, or least a reason why. I don’t want to be in school anymore. This has nothing to do with me not doing well (3.97 last quarter) or not liking my major (last quarter really got me interested agian), I just don’t want to do it anymore. I constantly feel like I’m doing tricks for other people. The first thing my mom asks me when I talk to here (the very first thing) is “how is school?”. Not how are you, not hows life… no no… how is school. My dad persits on asking me about work constantly. I made the mistake of telling him how much my CO-OP would have hired out of and he’s been on that for a week now (as a junior in college they would have hired me for ~69k). Of course the female aspect of my personal life is constantly on trial too… but that is outside the scope of this rant.

For the longest time, I managed to make this college and career thing about me (since I went into a major my parents knew nothing about and both wanted me to go into other majors). Somehow they managed to weasel their way in and make it about them. I’ve gone back to being their trophy that they pass around the workplace and family. You’d think my life was theirs they way they treat me. And of course the root of all this as an effort by me to greatly strengthen my relationships with my parents (which I had all but severed for the previously mentioned problems). It was a great idea (probably because I wasn’t the one who originally came up with it, it was encouraged by someone else)… but it freaking exploded and now I just want to quit. I can’t go back on what I’m doing and just push my parents away again… telling them to but out of my life just doesn’t work… so now I just want to quit. All in favor: “Aye”… All opposed: “[conscience] Nay!”… Anyone have a magic pill that kills your conscience?