To each his own?

In the order asked…
No.
No.
Yes.

Now… to respond to the comment…
I don’t know if I’m ok with it… not that it matters since it likely wouldn’t work out, but still, there is a line in the sand somewhere… its just been windy lately.

For the rest of you… don’t even try…

I had a fantastic weekend. I was abruptly torn from my abode by a feindish devil to go watch the OSU game. I don’t know what it is, but when ever I’m around children 8 and under… I become a human jungle gym. Not that I have a problem with it, I’m just saying (and yes those seeming disconnected ideas are actually completely intertwined with the same thought… you just don’t live in my head). After the game I stopped over at Tara’s since I was just around the bend and ended up staying the night at her house. My dad also came down later in the night and had a great plan to go out to dinner at the Eddie George Grill on game night… I’ll leave that alone. Today was pretty amazing too, but I’m bored of typing.

12-Sep-2006

I’ve said this before, and probably not too long ago, but I hate being right. Everyone says I see something where nothing exists or I’m just reading too much into a situation… but they always fail to explain how I’m right in the end. My hope isn’t pointless or based on some idiosyncratic fault in my personality (well, the latter might be partially true but not how people would generally envision it)… it is because I know myself well and I know the people around me well and I know some people better than I know myself and for some unholy reason there are times when I can see inside some peoples’ heads as clearly as I can my own. As much as some people deny me when I ask them questions, with some people I’m always right. I’m beating a dead horse in so many ways and probably several of them, but my reality “is what it is”. I’m going in circles again (for anyone who remembers the imagery over a year ago)… eventually I’ll go left. I kind of have to. Damned troll…

Reader beware: new topic… just to lazy to make a second post for the day.

Mindless drones… no sense of humor, no sense of fun, they barely have reasons to life their lives. Working here is seriously like watching an aunt hill or termite nest. They’re busy because that is what they are programmed to do. Almost everyone at this company does just enough to not be fired. As a friend of mine pointed out… the difference in yearly raises between someone who exceeds all expectations and someone who barely meets expectations is about .3% That’s between $250 and $400 – over an entire year -. There is no incentive to do more especially since most managers are contractors that were originally hired as consultants so the chances of getting that high are near nothing. It is really sad that doing what I genuinely like to do is leading me into a profession (or rather a workplace) that I despise about as much as left wing Hispanic immigrants in California seem to hate Bush.

I think the line is behind me somewhere…

I am completely burned out. I realize most of the Wyandot guards do this on a daily basis so I have no room to complain… I spent all of Saturday in the sun… no umbreallas for me apparently (or sunblock)… so I woke up Sunday with a lovely migrane and had to do it all over again (thankfully the sun wasn’t out most of the day).

I wish I could tell everyone the truth. I feel like such an ass… not a single person knows everything… not even the people (maybe person) who think they do. I’m so sick of being “let down”. I can’t get anything out without some steaming pile of “something” being put right at my feet. Yes I know it was already there and I probably would have fallen into it face first anyway… but its not always necessary. I’m pretty sure if certain people knew everything I’d be little more than a mangled pile of bones… or emotionally devoid depending on the person.

What happens when you are at war with yourself? The part of you that knows whats happened, whats going on and what will probably happen later vs. the side that is eternally hopeful and doesn’t care because “what if something changed?”… There is only one way for this mess of a life I have to go so that this won’t end badly (again?), and the chances of that happening… well its like the graph of 1/x assuming x is time (in small increments)… and that time started 12 weeks ago.

Stupid troll… or maybe its a gnome…