I think the line is behind me somewhere…

I am completely burned out. I realize most of the Wyandot guards do this on a daily basis so I have no room to complain… I spent all of Saturday in the sun… no umbreallas for me apparently (or sunblock)… so I woke up Sunday with a lovely migrane and had to do it all over again (thankfully the sun wasn’t out most of the day).

I wish I could tell everyone the truth. I feel like such an ass… not a single person knows everything… not even the people (maybe person) who think they do. I’m so sick of being “let down”. I can’t get anything out without some steaming pile of “something” being put right at my feet. Yes I know it was already there and I probably would have fallen into it face first anyway… but its not always necessary. I’m pretty sure if certain people knew everything I’d be little more than a mangled pile of bones… or emotionally devoid depending on the person.

What happens when you are at war with yourself? The part of you that knows whats happened, whats going on and what will probably happen later vs. the side that is eternally hopeful and doesn’t care because “what if something changed?”… There is only one way for this mess of a life I have to go so that this won’t end badly (again?), and the chances of that happening… well its like the graph of 1/x assuming x is time (in small increments)… and that time started 12 weeks ago.

Stupid troll… or maybe its a gnome…