27-Nov-2007

Apparently if you have a blog Thanksgiving posts are obligatory…

My Thanksgiving was actually very nice again this year. My dad and brother came down from Falls and we had dinner with my sister. I made an apple pie again this year that came out pretty well and I figured out how to reproduce the absolute lemonade from Red Robin pretty well (albeit a fair bit stronger… no thanks to Danielle). The only down side was that Theresa couldn’t be there… it would have been a 5 hour round trip drive to get her so…

The rest of the weekend was pretty good too. I spent Friday at my mom’s and Friday night Theresa and I put up the Christmas tree. Saturday, Tim and I hung out for a few hours and went climbing for a little while. I spent the rest of the afternoon working on a project for school but went out with Theresa, her parents and my mom for a birthday dinner for Theresa at Downtown 140 in Hudson.

The last couple days have been interesting. I’ve been arguing with my dad about something and he’s treating me like a child again. Whats worse is he reniged on something he told me (in front of two other people) and is trying to say he never said it… and somehow through all of this he’s decided he has a right to be angry with me. How delightful.

16-Nov-2007

I’ve opened this damned window about thirty times in the last week… but for some reason my mind goes into a deep freeze every time.

I’ve decided to accept Cisco’s offer so this time next year I’ll be off somewhere much warmer. Although, thats only about 90% certain. The Cisco offer isn’t iron clad and actually allows me to terminate any time since the benefits don’t happen until I actually start. Sadly… this decision hasn’t taken any of the stress away. I still have a lot to think about and some decisions to make and I’m going little nuts about it.

People keep telling me to “let God decide” or to “just give it to God”. I guess I have no conception of what that really means. God isn’t going to descend from Heaven flanked by all the angels just to put my life on track. I understand it all in the metaphorical and spiritual sense but the idea doesn’t translate well for me…

Ashes to ashes…

An uncle of mine is leaving the hospital tomorrow under hospice care. Please, send his family your prayers.

Whats that you say? Tumble weeds? Never.

My apologies again on the increasing gap (read fjord) between my entries.

Some comments:
-Life is not luxurious nor is it easy. Some would like to think that simply ignoring the bad will keep you happy or get you to where you’re going a little easier. In truth, it just propagates ignorance.
-Maturity is relative. To be honest, it can be relative to relative. It is all a matter of what your (most of the time narrow) window happens to be looking at.
-I’m neither ready for life nor maturity… but I don’t think I have a choice.

Somehow, I’m only taking 12 hours of classes, but I’m doing more work for them than I have done in quarters that I’ve taken 20 hours in. I’ll concede that all of my classes are engineering so a little more work is to be expected, but I really feel this is a little ridiculous. Other than the time on Sunday I take out for my family, I’m usually working on homework, grading, in class, programming, or writing some unnecessarily long report. I’m actually going to take a fair amount of time far myself tonight since for once I have no impending failure or catastrophe in some class. Although… I do have a midterm on Friday…

Decisions… Possible futures… I need a damned crystal ball… that actually works.

The voices are calling…

No don’t listen to the voices! But they’re so nice… NO! Don’t listen… But its so hard…

Apparently, the fact that I my thoughts are comprised of layered voices in my head is troublesome… to who I don’t know but I think its supposed to be me…

I sadly don’t have much to say. I know I haven’t updated in a while, but not much has changed. I have a couple classes I like, but thats about it… well, that and I got Cisco to improve their offer. I still can’t make a decision though and my own thoughts can’t even find a majority. I have this really, really sick feeling sometimes that this is that one huge “sink or swim” moment that you get in your life that defines everything from now until death… well, perhaps retirement.